I read Nicole Scherzingrs new blog to day. And somethin she wrote in there realy got 2 me. She reminde me of a old girlfriend that i still love so mutch. Nicole wrote: Until then, keep your chins up! I know some days may be easier than others, but that¹s why the sun rises new all over again day after day...for new beginnings, new hopes, new dreams, new triumphs to be made and well...fresh starts!!!  And that made me feel that there is no chance for me reguarding love. Like im doomed to spend the rest of my life alone. But what did i ever do to deserv to suffer like this? All i wanted waz for her to love me. Is that realy to mutch to ask? I feel abandoned, like every body hates me. Why cant i have some one that loves me that i can love back? Why cant i just have ONE persont to love. Just one! Why must i be the one that everybody hates. Why must i be the one everybody constantly makes fun of? Is it realy that mutch to ask for me to have ONE person to love? I dont want a new day, a fresh start or a new beginning or new dreams! All i ever wanted is for my ex-girlfriend to love me! Thats all i wanted and thats all i ever want! I cant se my self with another woman it feels wrong. Why cant i have just ONE person to love and that loves me back! Thats all i want and thats all im askin for. Il give up everythin else just to have ONE woman love me. And that i can love back. But if i cant have her back il rather live the rest of my life alone. I dont want another woman besids her. Shes the only one for me. My life feels empty and meningless without her. If i cant have her im not goin to find any other woman to love. Because i dont want anyother woman then my ex-girlfriend. Il rather live the rest of my life alone. Treat me like dirt, call me names or beat me up i dont cere. If i cant have her then my life is meningles and empty. She waz the only one that actuly made me happy, that made me feel like there is atleast someone that loves me, she waz and havebin the ONLY woman that i EVER have fallin inlove with. So i waz scered of trusting her. Well trusting people isent my strong side. You try being abused. beten up, caled names for your entire life and se how mutch you trust anyone after that. So i never had any friends, never had any one i could talk to. I never trused any one growing up. And i dont trust my parents ether. I keep them and mostly every one else on a need to know basis. I just regret more then anythin that i didetn trust her when i had her, that i never told her that i loved her. She waz my first girlfriend. The first iv ever bin together with. We cinda did tell eatchother that we liked eatchother. And she did tell me that she loved me. And i think she asked me one time if i love her. And i sed i did. But i had never had any other girlfriends befor her. So i dident realyknow how to act so i got scered when she got emotionaly closer to me. And i know nothin bad whould have happened if i whould have trusted her. I waz just to scered of actuly trusting her all the way. So now i will spend the rest of my life regreting not trusting her, not telling her that i love her. Just my luck, when i finaly fallinlove with some one only to lose her. If your reading this and have some one you love. Tell her or him. Trust me, other wise you will regret it for the rest of your life. And trust me you dont wanna feel the way i feel. The people that say its beter to loved and lost then not to loved at all. Thay have never truly bin inlove. Il do anythin for her to take me back and give me another chanse. I just love her so mutch. I just love her so mutch and i wanto spend the rest of my life with her! And i will alwasys love her.

If your reading this i will always love you no mater what.